The What Question…
It is amazing to think that after a couple of months of uncertainty and confusion, everything seems to clear up after a little bit of prayer. Last semester, I had no idea where or how I wanted to give myself to God’s work, all I knew was that I felt that it is what God truly wanted for my life. Through this whole process, I had my Bible and that was helped me so much. Not because it told me what to do and how to do them but because it offered support for me. Many months later, I am now starting to get the idea of where I will serve in a couple of years.
When I first decided that I wanted to follow God’s path for me I was scared and did not realize that it was not going to be as easy as I thought it was going to be. I thought that I would be going for the position that is considered the most prestigious among people, that of a senior pastor of some huge church. That, I believe, was my first mistake. I had put in my head that it was up to me completely to decide what position I would hold. Like most humans, I had chosen the one position in the ministry that would impress my peers and bring me a higher position in life. From the beginning of this journey, I had already started on a bad note. After six weeks of this, I have learned that it is not where I am to go. I might become a senior pastor someday but right now, my ministry passion leads me to children’s ministry.
Now that I know where I will serve, the next logical step is to find out what I will do when I get there. I must answer the “what” question. To answer that question, I used both the Strength Quest and the Spiritual Gift Assessment. On the Strength Quest, my top five strengths are Context, Input, Belief, Relator and Achiever. When I first took it, I did not think much of it. In fact, I thought of it as a joke. Almost two years later I can now see how handy it really is to me in helping me out where I will be in the future. Context; I can look back and think of all the things that I have done in my past and learn from them. Input; I have always wanted to know more and more about how this world works and why things happen, this has lead me here to this university. Belief; my family values is the biggest thing that controls my life because almost everything that I have done is based on what is best for the family. I even have a tattoo on my back with the word “family” in Japanese symbols. That is something I will never regret. Relator; I have always enjoyed one on one relationship with people because of the personal feeling that it brings out. Achiever; I have of course tried to succeed in my goals, whatever they may be at the time.
Faith and Prophecy. According to the Spiritual Gifts Assessment, faith and prophecy are my two main gifts but what do they mean? My faith has always been tested time and time again and there have been long periods of time when I truly believed that I would not be able to have any faith at all. At first, I thought it was going a mistake but now that I think about it, I do believe it. If it were not for my faith then I would have been a lost person and could not have passed the last couple years of my life. I am not going to lie, I had no idea what the paper meant by prophecy. The sheets did not provide a description of the various gifts that it showed. So how was I to know what it meant, let alone know if I really did have it?! After looking at the questions that corresponded with this gift, I realize that even though I am still working on honing this gift, I do posses it. I hope that by using these two gifts wisely, I will be able to teach and help grow all the people that are put under my care. I do not think that it will be that big of a problem since my secondary gifts are mercy and shepherding. Oh yes, I believe I have now answered the “what” question to my ministry journey.
It really is amazing how things do not change, but the things that we already have seem much more valuable now.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
My Spiritual Passion/January 24, 2008
There are many things that drive me, that make me work hard, that make me a better person. Had I been asked what my spiritual passion a year ago, I would not have been able to answer it. The reason for that is because I had no spiritual passion at all. I was a Christian by name only and was just your typical God fearing person who really didn’t believe that they could make a difference in the world. Today I can say that my spiritual passion lies with the lives of the youth and the children ministries.
Growing up, I did not have much. Every day I would go to school by foot, angry that some children who lived farther away than me could sleep in a little bit more because their parents could drive them to school. I was angry that I could not have what they have, that their lives were so much better than mine. I grew up with the same mentality, up until high school that is. In middle school, we were forced to wear uniforms and I hated it. Once I got to high school, I realized that even though I had clothing that was not up in style, there were people around me that had even worse clothing and that made me sad. It made me realize how lucky I was and how some people all around the world were living lives that were much worse than anything I had ever experienced. There are people today that will go on with this entire day and not have anything to eat, among them being thousands of children. I wanted to help back then, but there was nothing I could really do because I had problems of my own to deal with first.
Something I have realized over the last couple years is that everyone can make a difference. I could have made a difference back then. I could have saved my money and donated it. But no, I was too worried about myself. Earlier this semester, I had been wondering where my life would take me. Would I fail in giving out God’s word properly? Where would I serve? With who? What will be of my family? Before I switched to Christian Ministries, I wanted to be a history teacher. My history teacher had inspired me to set goals for my life and actually achieved them. I wanted to do the same with my life, be someone who children can look up to. The minds of children are clay, ready to be set in whatever way we fashion them. I truly believe that there is where God called me to serve.
My life today is pretty simple, I have very little materialistic things and I care little about them. My mission in life is to help those children who almost no one cares about, who cannot help themselves, the unwanted and poor. These children need the most help and I want to give them the help that they need. All my friends think that it’s an amazing thing that I care so much about my family and other people in general. But I have seen what they have not. I have lived a life a poverty, despair and hate. It’s not easy. One day, maybe they will understand the pain that these kids go through every day. It is a horrible thing to wonder if there will be food available the following day or if today is going to be your last meal.
Jesus came to this earth to forgive our sins, every last single person. That also includes the children of the world who do not know it yet. This is my Passion; this is what drives me today; to make sure that every child in the world knows that there is someone who loves them with a love that is unconditional and unending.
Growing up, I did not have much. Every day I would go to school by foot, angry that some children who lived farther away than me could sleep in a little bit more because their parents could drive them to school. I was angry that I could not have what they have, that their lives were so much better than mine. I grew up with the same mentality, up until high school that is. In middle school, we were forced to wear uniforms and I hated it. Once I got to high school, I realized that even though I had clothing that was not up in style, there were people around me that had even worse clothing and that made me sad. It made me realize how lucky I was and how some people all around the world were living lives that were much worse than anything I had ever experienced. There are people today that will go on with this entire day and not have anything to eat, among them being thousands of children. I wanted to help back then, but there was nothing I could really do because I had problems of my own to deal with first.
Something I have realized over the last couple years is that everyone can make a difference. I could have made a difference back then. I could have saved my money and donated it. But no, I was too worried about myself. Earlier this semester, I had been wondering where my life would take me. Would I fail in giving out God’s word properly? Where would I serve? With who? What will be of my family? Before I switched to Christian Ministries, I wanted to be a history teacher. My history teacher had inspired me to set goals for my life and actually achieved them. I wanted to do the same with my life, be someone who children can look up to. The minds of children are clay, ready to be set in whatever way we fashion them. I truly believe that there is where God called me to serve.
My life today is pretty simple, I have very little materialistic things and I care little about them. My mission in life is to help those children who almost no one cares about, who cannot help themselves, the unwanted and poor. These children need the most help and I want to give them the help that they need. All my friends think that it’s an amazing thing that I care so much about my family and other people in general. But I have seen what they have not. I have lived a life a poverty, despair and hate. It’s not easy. One day, maybe they will understand the pain that these kids go through every day. It is a horrible thing to wonder if there will be food available the following day or if today is going to be your last meal.
Jesus came to this earth to forgive our sins, every last single person. That also includes the children of the world who do not know it yet. This is my Passion; this is what drives me today; to make sure that every child in the world knows that there is someone who loves them with a love that is unconditional and unending.
Return
So it seems that I do remember the account to this. Well, in case anyone cares, school is sucky, running is sucky and pretty much everything else is too. Yet I am still happy. Knowing that life goes on is amazing. Good friends, wonderful GF, healthy family. Life is hard but good. Such is life.
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